THE LAUGH OF YOUR LIFE-TIME!
A middling service comedy, Don't Go Near the Water certainly has the look of a winner. Glossy and slick -- much like the public relations officers the film is concerned with -- Water skims along the surface of its comedic subject without ever getting its feet very wet. While there's more than a touch of satire here, it's surprisingly toothless, the kind that flirts with cynicism without letting itself get too involved in what that cynicism really means. However, for those that don't mind its superficiality, Water should be very enjoyable. Certainly Dorothy Kingsley and George Wells' screenplay is professionally put together, and their gags are properly built up, with pay-offs that reward more often than not. Charles Walters' direction is efficient and smooth, if not especially inspired or imaginative, and the cast is made up of pleasant actors and committed comics. Glenn Ford handles the lead role well, offering more in the way of personality and appeal than exceptional comic timing, which is not a bad thing at all. Anne Francis, Gia Scala and Eva Gabor are delightful to look at, which is what is required of them, which leaves the likes of Keenan Wynn, Fred Clark, Mary Wickes and Mickey Shaughnessy to keep the comedy bright -- a goal they do their best to achieve. ~ C Butler, AMG
Director:Charles Walters
Writers:William Brinkley (novel)
Dorothy Kingsley (writer)
Cast (in credits order) verified as complete
Glenn Ford ... Lt. J.G. Max Siegel
Gia Scala ... Melora Alba
Earl Holliman ... Adam Garrett
Anne Francis ... Lt. Alice Tomlen
Keenan Wynn ... Gordon Ripwell
Fred Clark ... Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash
Eva Gabor ... Deborah Aldrich
Russ Tamblyn ... Ens. Tyson
Jeff Richards ... Lt. Ross Pendleton
Mickey Shaughnessy ... Farragut Jones
Howard Smith ... Adm. Junius Boatwright
Romney Brent ... Mr. Alba - Melora's Father
Mary Wickes ... Janie
Jack Straw ... Lt. Cmdr. Gladstone
Robert Nichols ... Lt. Cmdr. Hereford
John Alderson ... Lt. Cmdr. Diplock
Jack Albertson ... Rep. George Jansen
Charles Watts ... Rep. Arthur Smithfield
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Hugh Boswell ... Jerry Wakely (uncredited)
Lowell Brown ... Flag Lieutenant (uncredited)
Paul Bryar ... Lt. Cmdr. Flaherty (uncredited)
Don Burnett ... Lt. Hepburn (uncredited)
John L. Cason ... Seabee Metkoff (uncredited)
Jerado Decordovier ... Native (uncredited)
John Dennis ... Cpl. Donohue (uncredited)
Richard Gardner ... Sailor (uncredited)
Ike Gibson ... Lt. Cmdr. Pratt (uncredited)
William Ogden Joyce ... Lt. Boone (uncredited)
Mailoa Kalili ... Native (uncredited)
King Kong ... Native (uncredited)
Gregg Martell ... Boatswain (uncredited)
Tom Mayton ... Yeoman (uncredited)
Julian Rivero ... Mr. Seguro (uncredited)
David Sharpe ... Undetermined Role (uncredited)
Mike Steen ... Marine Orderly (uncredited)
Audrey Swanson ... Nurse (uncredited)
Arthur Tovey ... Officer at Dance (uncredited)
Steve Warren ... Seaman Flaherty (uncredited)
Wilson Wood ... Yeoman (uncredited)
Runtime:107 min
Country:USA
Language:English
Color:Color (Metrocolor)
Aspect Ratio:2.35
Sound Mix:4-Track Stereo (Westrex Recording System) Certification:Finland:S | USA:Approved | Argentina:Atp | Australia:G
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